I've always been a very open person, if I really wanted to know something I'd rather ask the person directly or just go without knowing. Pertaining to my relationships with girls it's been much the same. Let her tell me directly or figure it out for myself. With that mentalitly I've obviously never spoken with my sisters much about relationships. My dad is about as confused as I am about anything, and he's been married for well over 30 years now (scary isn't it.) Most of my friends that talk with my about their relationships have never really had a "relationship" so they tend to be of little help.
Currently my only true confidant has done all he can for now and I need to reach out to other sources in order to get a clearer view. I might be reaching back to an old friend that knows me better than many people possibly ever will. It will be nice to get back a trust that's slowly been slipping away.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Last Kiss Was the First Kiss Goodbye
Giggles is in a bit of a perdicament, he's interested in Christmas and she's interested in him. However, Giggles isn't ready for an exclusive relationship with Christmas yet . . . and they've already kissed.
We've all decided that Christmas' roommates will want Giggles' head on a platter so that they can rip his tongue out for their anatomy class, yet he's hopefull that he can still be close to Christmas. But is it possible?
I use to think it was possible to love and lose, but still be close . . . I'm beginning to wonder about it. My friendship with Blue was a good one, we enjoyed each other's company and pretty well openly talked whenever something happened. Note that I said WAS.
Honestly for a long time I'd maintained a hope of the returning of Us. As I talked with others and looked at where Blue and I stood I came to the realization that Us had lost all posibility of coming to be. About a week or two later Blue pulled me aside and confirmed my assumption. Up untill that point I'd have said that we where very close friends--if not at times best friends. Since then I haven't heard from her, or even heard much about her.
Possibly much of that is my fault, very few attempts have been made on my part to contact her and maybe I should do more. Or is it simply because the whole relationship changed as soon as we both came to realize and openly accept that Us was over?
Suppose I'll have to find out . . . I'm far too much of a curious type to just sit back and watch ;)
As for Giggles and Christmas. When he kissed her, he ment it. Hopefully she'll realize that and be willing to forgive and still love.
We've all decided that Christmas' roommates will want Giggles' head on a platter so that they can rip his tongue out for their anatomy class, yet he's hopefull that he can still be close to Christmas. But is it possible?
I use to think it was possible to love and lose, but still be close . . . I'm beginning to wonder about it. My friendship with Blue was a good one, we enjoyed each other's company and pretty well openly talked whenever something happened. Note that I said WAS.
Honestly for a long time I'd maintained a hope of the returning of Us. As I talked with others and looked at where Blue and I stood I came to the realization that Us had lost all posibility of coming to be. About a week or two later Blue pulled me aside and confirmed my assumption. Up untill that point I'd have said that we where very close friends--if not at times best friends. Since then I haven't heard from her, or even heard much about her.
Possibly much of that is my fault, very few attempts have been made on my part to contact her and maybe I should do more. Or is it simply because the whole relationship changed as soon as we both came to realize and openly accept that Us was over?
Suppose I'll have to find out . . . I'm far too much of a curious type to just sit back and watch ;)
As for Giggles and Christmas. When he kissed her, he ment it. Hopefully she'll realize that and be willing to forgive and still love.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Reality's Bitten
Girls always cry for those movies. Boy and Girl have been together since their youth. Boy loves Girl, but won't acknowledge it to the girl. Girl finds another boy and they get engaged. (Now this is where the story will vary from story to story.) Girl takes time to tell Boy personally that she's getting married, possibly in hopes that it will jar Boy enough to kick into action. Girl drops the new boy for the old Boy. Or, at Girls wedding the man announces "If any of you see any reason as to why these two should not be wed . . . " Boy breaks into the chaple and yells out "I love you!" or something along such dramatic lines. Either way they all live happily ever after . . . except for the guy that was first engaged to her, but he was a jerk anyways and nobody can really understand why they got engaged in the first place except that Girl was leading him on in hopes that Boy would stop being such an idiot.
Too bad I'm living in reality. Blue and I have been together for a while now, even though we ended our dating relationship over a year ago. For some reason we keep comming back to each other, but then she pushes and we fall even further away than we had been.
I would hope that if she ever does become engaged to another man that she would feel the need to tell me personally. However, that also causes problems because life imitates art which means the question that is always asked to kick Boy into action will come up, "Are you OK with this?" I'll be honest, Blue and I have never had a real fight with each other (hardly even a fake one for that matter,) but I don't know how I'd be able to tell her that "No, I'm not OK . . . it hurts."
Assuming that we actually get past that stage there is the last and possibly the most painful of all. That point in the wedding, Boy comes rushing in to save Girl from a horrible fate, a fate without him. Sure, I'd love to come racing in and save her, except for a number of problems. Frist of, I'm already in the audience (this makes it difficult for a dramamtic entrance if I've already entered.) Second, Blue was the one that left me, she doesn't really want to be saved. Lastly, the guy that she ends up with, I'm sure, will not be a jerk, and in fact I'd probably really like him if it wasn't for that fact that he was marrying Blue.
No, he would announce that this was my last opportunity to proclaim my love to Blue and then I'd have to sit and bear it. As he stops for a moment to make sure that I really don't want to be dramatic I feel people slightly turn to look at me. Even Blue sneaks a little of a peak, not knowing what to expect from me. Unfortunatly the only thing they'd be able to see are the tears welling up in my eyes.
Over the past little while I've been thinking about Blue and myself and any kind of a relationship that we have. I've come to realize that maybe I can forget about her, and maybe I'll have to. But until that time comes I'll keep holding on and working at my end to make things work out, and working on my end to find someone new.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Attention All Fish in the Sea!
It has recently come to the attention of the wardens that there is atroublesome trend spreading across the young, careless, and free LDS singles of society. This intolerable trend must be brought to light and shared with the unprotected and innocent bystanders. This trend is known as "Duty-Free Dating."
Duty-Free Dating occurs in safe public places, e.g. parties, dances, wardactivities, the church foyer. These events and happenstance meetings occur in lieu of 'good old fashioned dating,' as some may call it. 'Good oldfashioned dating,' for those unfamiliar with the concept, is when one person calls a member of the opposite sex directly and communicates that they wouldlike to spend some time alone with them. The first party invites the second party for a set period of time in a ritual called courtship.
Traditionally, this ritual involves a meal, an activity, and enjoyable conversation between the two parties involved, although some variations have been known to exist. However, there is no guarantee that the conversation will be enjoyable; additionally, attention must be paid to only one party and not a dozen at a time, hence the unfortunate demise of this dating tool. Good old- fashioned dating is what people did before singles wards and Institute activities.
Are You a Victim?
Men, have you ever told a friend, "Yeah, I'll be seeing her at the activity tomorrow night. And there will be this other girl I'm trying to get to know there too" Or Ladies, have you ever heard yourself explain to your mother or girlfriend, "Well, we're not really dating, but we see each other like four times a week, we always know when we'll see each other next, we email all the time, and we talk every time we're together." And then four weeks later you have the dreaded conversation that sounds like this, "We're just friends. We've never even gone out on a real date! I don't know where you got the idea I was leading you on!" Women, you are not at fault. Men, youare not wrong. This dating confusion is the result of Duty-Free Dating! We encourage you to stop what you are doing right now, quit your current dating practices, and read the following article.
Duty-Free Dating, or "DFD" as it is sometimes known among researchers who study the phenomenon, is the practice of flirting, consorting, investigating, and fraternizing continuously in a public place with a member of the opposite sex with little to no follow up or commitment. The instigator of this device, or the aggressor, or predator, frequently tends to be male, although exceptions in nature have been found. The female is generally more timid and less aggressive in instances of DFD. She tends to be a naive participant and propagator of DFD. While she may create Duty-Free Dating environments (Sunday night group dinners), she did notinvent DFD.
DFD is, by definition, the opportunity, place, and situation where a predator can spend as little or as much time on the object of his attention (please note we did not say "affection" without feeling obligated to stay with the prey throughout the evening, or pay for a meal. Or as some may describe it, he can cast his bait, hook the prey, and then knowing the prey is caught and unwilling to leave, the predator will leave to swim with theother fish in the sea. He is under no obligation to stay with his first catch since he did not instigate the meeting of the two parties.
Typically a committee of some sort (which did not necessarily have the personal interests of the parties in mind) had planned the meeting. These committees are also known as the Institute Council, FHE group leaders, theWard Activities Committee, and sometimes even Roommates. The two parties merely showed up at the same time and place on their own accord. The aggressor cannot be held accountable for the presence of the prey at the event, therefore, once the aggressor has spent the amount of time he wishes on his first catch, or feels he has properly hooked her, he is then free to move on to the other fish in the sea.
Females are the most common victims, since they frequently, unwittingly, create the habitat where DFD flourishes, but we repeat that male victims have been found as well. Generally the male victims have been found in samples taken from D.C. area singles wards and other large metropolitan areas. Regardless of gender, the prey never knows when it is time to "fish or cut bait." The prey is limited in its ability to leave anyway, since there is a hook in its side.
Are You Protected?
Duty-Free Dating is running rampant through our singles societies. Identifying features of DFD include both parties relying on the knowledge that they will see each other at the next social function. They intend and expect to see each other at these events, and even intend to spend most of the event in each other's company. This is where the predator walks into the cultural hall, spots the prey, sits with her, and makes his whole day. Others in ward's dating pool wonder if the two of them are dating. In this scenario, the prey is targeted and marked by the predator, and the prey is happy to be hunted and caught. (In other analogies this is also known as marking your territory, or tinkling on the hydrant.)
In large scale, random sample, and double-blind studies, the predator has been known to tire easily of the first catch of the day. The predator frequently decides to move on to see if there are bigger and better fish in the sea. Or sometimes he just gets up to check out the refreshment table and never returns, making the prey wonder if their "almost romance" was all in the imagination. After several weeks or months (and in some reported and rare cases, years), the prey gets tired of feeling vulnerable and exposed, and goes into hiding from the predator, or allows the next predator to mark the territory.
Eventually the predator notices that his original catch is attempting to get away, and attempts to reclaim what he believes is rightfully his. This tends to confuse the prey, as the bait on the end of the hook can look tempting at times. And two bright shiny objects at once has been known to cause a frenzy among some blondes. The second predator tends to keep his lure in the game. And what began as a friendly game of casual dating turns into a futile attempt by the original predator to keep his prey interested in the game. Predators tend to forget that the prey isn't in it for thegame. The prey usually wants to get caught.
Start a Petition in Your Neighborhood!
DUTY-FREE DATING MUST BE STOPPED! It is up to you to put a stop to this terrible trend. If you ever want to get married or move on to life beyond a singles ward, you must stop DFD now! No one ever got married as a result of only talking over the punch bowl for six months. Engagement rings do not materialize from the same conversation during the munch and mingle. Engagement rings materialize from time spent alone in private locations! You must stop being so SAFE in your dating and do something DARING. YOUMUST GO ON A REAL DATE!! If Friday night with a good book sounds better than getting up the guts to ask a member of the opposite sex out on a date, we humbly suggest you start checking out books on how to ask out a member ofthe opposite sex. You will never progress beyond Institute activities (great though they be) if you rely solely on a committee of volunteers to create your next social adventure. You must grow a spine, take some initiative, and ask someone out on a date! This goes for members of both sexes. Don't be afraid to start this new "old fashioned" trend in your ward. You only live once and unless you plan to spend the rest of this life single, GO ON A REAL DATE!
DFD allows men to fulfill their innate desire to stake a small claim and still play the field. Believing there are still more fish in the sea, the true hunter (or fisher as the case may be) will always keep looking for something else. If they believe the prey they have caught will just stay where it is put, they will just leave it alone. Women, men, daters of the world unite! Stand up for yourselves! Remove the hook from your side and demand something better! Don't just stay there! If he hasn?t asked you out, don't invite him over for dinner! Men, if you want a dinner invitation, live by the Golden Rule (you remember it- "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Ask her out for dinner, and she just may very well invite you over for some home cooked lovin'
Duty-Free Dating will continue to grow unchecked if something is not done soon. You are encouraged to write your local Fish and Game Department and contact the wardens immediately at erinandjuli@meridianmagazine.com. You, and only you, can stave the destructive path of this social beast. Let's work together to promote the ban of this horrifying act. Otherwise the sea is about to get overstocked.
The preceding account is true. Any doubting the existence of this act need only to visit the nearest singles ward, Institute activity, or YSA family home evening to discover the truth. It is believed that most singles ward Bishops will gladly take the stand to preach against the evils of Duty-FreeDating. Some bishops have even been heard to say, "If Duty-Free Dating continues, they will never get married, and I'll never get released!"
Duty-Free Dating occurs in safe public places, e.g. parties, dances, wardactivities, the church foyer. These events and happenstance meetings occur in lieu of 'good old fashioned dating,' as some may call it. 'Good oldfashioned dating,' for those unfamiliar with the concept, is when one person calls a member of the opposite sex directly and communicates that they wouldlike to spend some time alone with them. The first party invites the second party for a set period of time in a ritual called courtship.
Traditionally, this ritual involves a meal, an activity, and enjoyable conversation between the two parties involved, although some variations have been known to exist. However, there is no guarantee that the conversation will be enjoyable; additionally, attention must be paid to only one party and not a dozen at a time, hence the unfortunate demise of this dating tool. Good old- fashioned dating is what people did before singles wards and Institute activities.
Are You a Victim?
Men, have you ever told a friend, "Yeah, I'll be seeing her at the activity tomorrow night. And there will be this other girl I'm trying to get to know there too" Or Ladies, have you ever heard yourself explain to your mother or girlfriend, "Well, we're not really dating, but we see each other like four times a week, we always know when we'll see each other next, we email all the time, and we talk every time we're together." And then four weeks later you have the dreaded conversation that sounds like this, "We're just friends. We've never even gone out on a real date! I don't know where you got the idea I was leading you on!" Women, you are not at fault. Men, youare not wrong. This dating confusion is the result of Duty-Free Dating! We encourage you to stop what you are doing right now, quit your current dating practices, and read the following article.
Duty-Free Dating, or "DFD" as it is sometimes known among researchers who study the phenomenon, is the practice of flirting, consorting, investigating, and fraternizing continuously in a public place with a member of the opposite sex with little to no follow up or commitment. The instigator of this device, or the aggressor, or predator, frequently tends to be male, although exceptions in nature have been found. The female is generally more timid and less aggressive in instances of DFD. She tends to be a naive participant and propagator of DFD. While she may create Duty-Free Dating environments (Sunday night group dinners), she did notinvent DFD.
DFD is, by definition, the opportunity, place, and situation where a predator can spend as little or as much time on the object of his attention (please note we did not say "affection" without feeling obligated to stay with the prey throughout the evening, or pay for a meal. Or as some may describe it, he can cast his bait, hook the prey, and then knowing the prey is caught and unwilling to leave, the predator will leave to swim with theother fish in the sea. He is under no obligation to stay with his first catch since he did not instigate the meeting of the two parties.
Typically a committee of some sort (which did not necessarily have the personal interests of the parties in mind) had planned the meeting. These committees are also known as the Institute Council, FHE group leaders, theWard Activities Committee, and sometimes even Roommates. The two parties merely showed up at the same time and place on their own accord. The aggressor cannot be held accountable for the presence of the prey at the event, therefore, once the aggressor has spent the amount of time he wishes on his first catch, or feels he has properly hooked her, he is then free to move on to the other fish in the sea.
Females are the most common victims, since they frequently, unwittingly, create the habitat where DFD flourishes, but we repeat that male victims have been found as well. Generally the male victims have been found in samples taken from D.C. area singles wards and other large metropolitan areas. Regardless of gender, the prey never knows when it is time to "fish or cut bait." The prey is limited in its ability to leave anyway, since there is a hook in its side.
Are You Protected?
Duty-Free Dating is running rampant through our singles societies. Identifying features of DFD include both parties relying on the knowledge that they will see each other at the next social function. They intend and expect to see each other at these events, and even intend to spend most of the event in each other's company. This is where the predator walks into the cultural hall, spots the prey, sits with her, and makes his whole day. Others in ward's dating pool wonder if the two of them are dating. In this scenario, the prey is targeted and marked by the predator, and the prey is happy to be hunted and caught. (In other analogies this is also known as marking your territory, or tinkling on the hydrant.)
In large scale, random sample, and double-blind studies, the predator has been known to tire easily of the first catch of the day. The predator frequently decides to move on to see if there are bigger and better fish in the sea. Or sometimes he just gets up to check out the refreshment table and never returns, making the prey wonder if their "almost romance" was all in the imagination. After several weeks or months (and in some reported and rare cases, years), the prey gets tired of feeling vulnerable and exposed, and goes into hiding from the predator, or allows the next predator to mark the territory.
Eventually the predator notices that his original catch is attempting to get away, and attempts to reclaim what he believes is rightfully his. This tends to confuse the prey, as the bait on the end of the hook can look tempting at times. And two bright shiny objects at once has been known to cause a frenzy among some blondes. The second predator tends to keep his lure in the game. And what began as a friendly game of casual dating turns into a futile attempt by the original predator to keep his prey interested in the game. Predators tend to forget that the prey isn't in it for thegame. The prey usually wants to get caught.
Start a Petition in Your Neighborhood!
DUTY-FREE DATING MUST BE STOPPED! It is up to you to put a stop to this terrible trend. If you ever want to get married or move on to life beyond a singles ward, you must stop DFD now! No one ever got married as a result of only talking over the punch bowl for six months. Engagement rings do not materialize from the same conversation during the munch and mingle. Engagement rings materialize from time spent alone in private locations! You must stop being so SAFE in your dating and do something DARING. YOUMUST GO ON A REAL DATE!! If Friday night with a good book sounds better than getting up the guts to ask a member of the opposite sex out on a date, we humbly suggest you start checking out books on how to ask out a member ofthe opposite sex. You will never progress beyond Institute activities (great though they be) if you rely solely on a committee of volunteers to create your next social adventure. You must grow a spine, take some initiative, and ask someone out on a date! This goes for members of both sexes. Don't be afraid to start this new "old fashioned" trend in your ward. You only live once and unless you plan to spend the rest of this life single, GO ON A REAL DATE!
DFD allows men to fulfill their innate desire to stake a small claim and still play the field. Believing there are still more fish in the sea, the true hunter (or fisher as the case may be) will always keep looking for something else. If they believe the prey they have caught will just stay where it is put, they will just leave it alone. Women, men, daters of the world unite! Stand up for yourselves! Remove the hook from your side and demand something better! Don't just stay there! If he hasn?t asked you out, don't invite him over for dinner! Men, if you want a dinner invitation, live by the Golden Rule (you remember it- "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Ask her out for dinner, and she just may very well invite you over for some home cooked lovin'
Duty-Free Dating will continue to grow unchecked if something is not done soon. You are encouraged to write your local Fish and Game Department and contact the wardens immediately at erinandjuli@meridianmagazine.com. You, and only you, can stave the destructive path of this social beast. Let's work together to promote the ban of this horrifying act. Otherwise the sea is about to get overstocked.
The preceding account is true. Any doubting the existence of this act need only to visit the nearest singles ward, Institute activity, or YSA family home evening to discover the truth. It is believed that most singles ward Bishops will gladly take the stand to preach against the evils of Duty-FreeDating. Some bishops have even been heard to say, "If Duty-Free Dating continues, they will never get married, and I'll never get released!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
